Running in the dark

My Journal

It is a perfect September morning. The sun is shining and the air is crisp.

And it is my 24th wedding anniversary.  And it feels like a blink.

running in the dark

I remember being really conscious that all that mattered was the fact that we were getting married.  Not the dress so much or my hair and makeup (which I did myself).

Looking back, my priorities were in place.  I did not try to control anything I had no control over.  Both of my parents were in the same room after not seeing each other in over 15 years  They behaved beautifully but I didn't focus on any possible drama.

I was just really aware of what a monumental step it was that we were taking.

And my biggest worry was melting.  It was hot.  Really hot.

I was thinking about what to say about the past 24 years. And I keep thinking back to last Valentine's Day.

Michael got home a bit late from work.  We didn't have any plans.  It was dark and cold out. We put on our running clothes, layered up and Michael put a headlight on his hat.

We ran three miles in the dark down the canal.  This one below.  It looks scary in the dark.

running in the dark

Then we quickly got changed and drove into Philadelphia and went to a Smithereens' concert that had already started.  We could have forfeited the run and made it on time, but that is not us.

After the concert, we went to a sweet wine bar and had a little something to eat.

I just remember having so much to say to each other.  The kind of night where we could just stay up talking.

And that is what the last 24 years have been like. Spontaneous.

Filled with trust that we will instinctively know what what to do.  Even if it means running in the dark.

And knowing that what really matters are the moments, not so much the packaging.

And that if we stay true to this, the words will never run out.

Here is my anniversary gift from Michael.

running in the dark

Michael hung up my hammock on the old swing set.  I cannot even tell you how much I love this.  I see twinkle lights and moon light.  Lots of warm blankets and good books.

And morning naps. Together.

And separately.

Because space is important.  Everybody needs space to grow.

And we have really grown these past 24 years.  Grown closer.  And also grown into our own best selves.  And we are still growing.

***Do you have a moment that sums up something so much bigger?  Kind of like last Valentine's Day for me?  Do tell.....xo.

 ****I love you Michael. And my hammock.  So much.

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