My father-in-love passed away this past week. I have known my *in-loves longer than I had known my own parents.
This picture is one of my favorite pictures of Joe, who I called Dad for the past 36 years. I love his hat & his early morning smile. He was simply charming.
He loved to write poetry & stories, paint, and sing songs he wrote himself. He loved games & cards and there was no shortage of silliness at every family gathering.
I could always count on a Peppermint Patty or chocolate bar hidden in his fridge.
Joe opened a bar in Brooklyn in the 1950’s where jazz played & ALL were welcome. He was always inclusive. It was simply who he was at his core.
My in-loves were part of every friend group we ever had. They loved travel and always watched our kids from early on so we could get away. No doubt they are part of the glue that has held Mike & I so closely together.
The past six months the entire family rallied around Joe to celebrate him & do whatever we could to make him comfortable.
Speakers, audio books, Italian music, podcasts, fresh oysters, chocolate shakes and anything we could think of became our thread as we all tried to stitch him back together with love.
He lived 94 years and for 92 of them he lived with his glass of joy flowing over. It got harder as his body aged and his mind stayed full of creative ideas.
I had lost my father and step-father in my 20's. I loved them both and they were friends. I lost my mom in my 40's. I never had the chance to truly discuss this final stage of life. I had the chance to do that with Joe; to have conversations about life and death. He asked what I thought was going to happen when he died. I responded that I thought in this lifetime he honed his writing skills; and in the next one he would be a novelist full time.
As we go through our lives, we all hit an occasional jackpot. Marrying into a family that prioritized joy & fun was one of mine. xo.
Ps. The term "father-in-love" instead of "father-in-law" came from author & friend, Rachel Awes. She is profound.